the last thing i learned how to do was how to play "No Children" by The Mountain Goats on the guitar. it's super hard, though, because i have to switch really fast between two different bar chords. i'm not good at moving my fingers all that fast, and the guitar i use has a really wide neck so the strings are far apart.

it's a very sad song that i first heard in one of the first episodes of the last season of Moral Orel, which was an incredibly good and moving stop-motion animation show that has probably the best character development ever.

that episode was almost definitely the most sad thing i have ever seen on television. if you can, you should check it out. the first season is available on dvd, and at least one episode is watchable on adultswim.com.

anyways, it's a very sad song, and it's completely amazing. plus, it fits so perfectly the relationship of two of the main cahracters. here's the lyrics:



I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come out with a fail-safe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us

I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town again in my life

I hope I lie
And tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
We're pretty sure they're all wrong

I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober

And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand

And I hope you die
I hope we both die

i had two big adventures this year.

they were both very emotionally based adventures.

one actually started at the very end of last year [probably around Christmas] and was the most emotional experience i have had to date.

i fell madly in love, and then had my heart broken, and then moved on. i had been really liking my friend Erin, but then starting in late december we began hanging out a whole lot more, and we did things all the time and were always talking and spending time together and i was completely smitten. sometime in mid january i told her i was in love with her. she told me she had just got out of a relationship, and she hadn't spent much time in the last few years being single, so she wanted to try that for a bit. in february we held hands and watched movies together. june, we graduated and i hardly saw her over the summer because i'm awful at talking to people unless i have to. august, she came to my house for dinner, we watched a movie, and she kissed me. then, she moved to boise and i stayed in the greater chubbuck-pocatello metropolitan area. sometime in late september she told me she was dating someone. i was completly destroyed. then, i spent one day talking with her about it and was able to move on.

my other big adventure was my trip to california and back over the summer.

my mom and i drove down to los angeles to visit our family and go to the family reunion. unfortunately, two days before the family reunion, my second cousin was cratching her head a lot so my mom checked her for lice. unfortunately, one was found on her head, so she was sent upstairs. everyone freaked out and was not nice to her at all, and then they pretty much deserted her to plan the family reunion that another branch of our family had been assigned to plan. she was also yelled at. also, no one seemed to care except my mom and me, and then my mom had to focus on other things because my dad called from idaho and told her that my sister had been in a car crash. then my aunt [my second cousin's grandmother] told my mom that she couldn't take care of my cousin because she had her own children to take care of, even though i'm pretty sure she knew that my sister had been in a crash and broken her arm [she had already been told] and so my cousin was left alone. my friend badger tried calling me twice to invite me to a thing back in pocatello because he forgot i was gone, and my grandpa took me to costco to get some photos developed, but that turned out to be very stressful. then, my mom and i went to the fmaily reunion despite the fact that our family members were not neccesarily happy with us. right afterward, we left and drove through california, nevada and oregon to get to boise [that was the quickest route and also my first time in oregon] to visit my sister in the hospital. it was kind of an awful experience for pretty much everyone involved.

so that's it, my two biggest adventures of 2008.

life.








i thought about writing this as one of those one word blogs that people write, and i thought about writing that one word in all caps, but i thought that'd be too pretentious of me because i'm not cool enough to do that.

a friend of my family was recently diagnosed with a mysterious and terminal bone cancer. from what i've been told, she has somewhere between a couple days and a couple months to live.

i've never really experienced death before. i mean, people i've met in my life have died, but no one really all that close to me has ever died. i know that's lucky of me or whatever, and i shouldn't want the people i love/who love me to die, but sometimes i feel weird, because i was talking to one of my good friends tonite and she said that six people close to her have died in the past year, and i really had absolutely no clue what to say to her. i felt bad because she was sad and i didn't know how to help her.

also, my life has been really good lately. i got some of the best Christmas presents ever this year, my family has been at least kind of getting along, i'm not feeling broken hearted and destroyed anymore, my friends are being successful and happy, and i know that even though i may think i'm lost, God knows exactly where i am. in general, my life has been great.

i just want people to know how meaningful they are and that my life would not be the same without any of the people i have ever met, no matter how short or limited my experiences with them are or were, and i love the way my life is going and i wouldn't want to change it for the world.

thanks to everyone who i've ever crossed paths with. i want you to know that i love you.

i recently discovered, with the help of some friends, two super amazing webcomics. one is The Abominable Charles Christopher, and the other is called Kukuburi. they're both wonderful and have amazing, super high quality art. if you are the kind of person who reads webcomics, i definitely suggest you read these.

here's the links

abominable charles christopher

kukuburi

i just thought i'd let you know.

there's a movie called "Wristcutters: A Love Story." me and my sibs watched it tonite. it's absolutely wonderful. also, it's totally bizarre.

it's starring Patrick Fugit [he's also in the movie Saved!] and Shannyn Sossamon [she was also in A Knight's Tale] and it's completely amazing.

it's a dark comedy about people who commit suicide, and if you get a chance to see it, i very highly recommend it. it's really funny and is brilliant in pretty much all ways.

also, it has Gogol Bordello on the soundtrack, which is always a good thing.

watching it has left me in a wonderful mood. i really want to watch it again.